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Parents & family

Strain and the parents’ relationship

Who is it for? For parents of children on the autism spectrum who want to put their own strain and their relationship with their partner in context.

In brief

There are studies on the strain on parents that the 2021 S3 guideline summarised: stress depended not only on the child's features but also on the parents' coping strategies; lack of social support was linked with more stress. [1, Ch. C.10.1.2] On the partnership itself, the guideline named no findings. Instead, it explicitly recommended further research on the support needs of life partners. [1, Rec. 108] The guideline expired on 23.03.2026. [2]

This English translation was produced with AI assistance and has not yet been independently reviewed.

Status of the guideline: This article uses the S3 guideline on therapy (2021). It expired on 23.03.2026. [2] The statements are not automatically wrong, but they are not backed by a valid guideline.

What was known about the strain on parents

The guideline regarded parents and relatives as an important support and at the same time as “co-affected” people who need support themselves. [1, Ch. C.10.1] It reproduced three studies (not checked by the editorial team itself):

  • Among parents of 139 children at a London special school, stress and well-being depended on features of the child, but the parents’ personality and coping strategies were decisive. Lack of social support was linked with more stress. [1, Ch. C.10.1.2]
  • A New Zealand study with 92 participants described social support as an important protective factor. [1, Ch. C.10.1.2]
  • In a study of 122 mothers of children under six years shortly after the diagnosis, after problem-solving training (six sessions) fewer mothers reported stress symptoms than in the control group. For depressive symptoms there was no clear difference. [1, Ch. C.10.1.2]

What remained open about the partnership

On the relationship between the parents, for example separation or satisfaction rates, the chapter of the guideline that was read contains no statements. The guideline rather stated that further research is needed on the support needs of families, in particular of siblings and life partners. [1, Rec. 108] The editorial team therefore cannot back sweeping statements such as “parents of children with autism separate more often” and does not make them.

Support services should be based on the subjective needs of parents and relatives; all parents should be offered psychoeducation about autism after the diagnosis; on request, other relatives should also receive individual counselling. [1, Rec. 106] More on this: Self-care for parents and relatives.

What do we know – what is still open?

Known (according to the 2021 guideline, studies reproduced, not checked ourselves)

  • Social support was described as a protective factor against parental stress. [1, Ch. C.10.1.2]
  • A short problem-solving training reduced the number of mothers with stress symptoms in one study, but not depressive symptoms. [1, Ch. C.10.1.2]

Open

  • The evidence on psychosocial services for families was insufficient overall (few studies of low quality). [1, Ch. C.10.1.1]
  • Data on the needs of life partners are missing; further research was recommended. [1, Rec. 108]

What else you should know

  • Sharing tasks jointly is a practical topic, not an established finding. The editorial team has no checked source on it. Independent advice helps in finding arrangements: Finding advice.
  • Single parents and families without a partner do not appear separately in the sources read.
  • Relief benefits can also ease the relationship: Relief for families. In acute emotional distress: TelefonSeelsorge, 0800 1110111. [3]

Note: This article offers general information. It does not replace couple, family or psychotherapeutic counselling.

Sources and literature

  1. DGKJP, DGPPN et al. Autismus-Spektrum-Störungen im Kindes-, Jugend- und Erwachsenenalter. Teil 2: Therapie. S3-Leitlinie, AWMF-Reg.-Nr. 028-047, Stand Text 02.05.2021 (Kap. C.10.1, Empf. 106, 108). – Guideline (in German); expired on 23 March 2026 (see no. 2)
  2. DGKJP. Aktuelle Leitlinien (Eintrag 028-047: „Gültig bis 23.03.2026“). https://www.dgkjp.de/wissen/aktuelle-leitlinien/ – Professional society (website in German)
  3. TelefonSeelsorge Deutschland: Startseite mit Rufnummern. https://www.telefonseelsorge.de/ – Counselling service (website in German)

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